They need it sometimes."
Then for fifteen minutes large shells rebound from the bowed head and
shoulders of the unfortunate infantryman.
Which reminds me of George.
George had a strafe-proof waistcoat procured by him from a French
manufacturer. He showed it to us proudly, and also the advertisement,
which stated that the waistcoat would easily stop a rifle-bullet,
whilst a "45" would simply bounce off it. It was beautiful but
alarming to see his confidence as he stood up in a shower of shells,
praying for a chance of showing off the virtues of his acquisition.
* * * * *
We were very pleased to send to his hospital address to-day a postcard
bearing the maker's explanation that a .45 revolver bullet, and _not_
a 45 millimetre shell, was meant.
As regards the jam question, Jerry, the fault of the jam is that it
is never jam, but always marmalade. I feel too sore on the question to
write much, but I may just hint that we have heard that Brother Bulgar
sometimes gets real strawberry. It is just possible, therefore, that
you may hear of a raid soon.
Yours ever,
PETER.
* * * * *
THE CONVERT.
["One striking result of the War has been its humanising
effect on woman."--_Daily Paper_.]
The barbed shaft of Love hath pierced thy heart,
Fair Annabelle; distracting is thy lot;
Long hast thou thought thyself a deal too smart
To be ensnared in Cupid's toils--eh, what?
The ways of other maids, less intricate,
Filled thee with pity to the very core;
Kisses were unhygienic, out of date,
And man a most unutterable bore.
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