But, above all, my sins, O Lord, I do lament with shame and confusion,
believing it is for them that I receive this great punishment. Thou
hast showed me many judgments and mercies which did not reclaim me,
nor turn me to thy holy conversation, which the example of our blessed
Saviour taught. Lord, pardon me; O God, forgive whatsoever is amiss in
me; break not a bruised reed. I humbly submit to thy justice; I
confess my wretchedness, and know I have deserved not only this but
everlasting punishment; but, O my God, look upon me through the merits
of my Saviour, and for his sake save me: do with me and for me what
thou pleasest, for I do wholly rely on thy mercy, beseeching thee to
remember thy promises to the fatherless and widow, and enable me to
fulfil thy will cheerfully in this world; humbly beseeching thee that,
when this mortal life is ended, I may be joined with the soul of my
dear husband, and all thy servants departed this life in thy faith and
fear, in everlasting praises of thy Holy Name. Amen.'
The next day my husband was embalmed. The following day I began to
receive messages from the Queen and the Court of Spain.
July the 4th, stilo novo, 1666, my husband was buried by his own
Chaplain, with the ceremony of the Church of England, and a sermon
preached by him. In the evening I sent the body of my dear husband to
Bilbao, intending suddenly to follow him: he went out of town
privately, being accompanied only by a part of his own retinue.
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