Why the piece is called _The Times_, remains a mystery. _To-day_
would have been better; that is, if by _The Times_ is only meant "The
Present Day." And if it doesn't mean this, what meaning has it? For
alliterative advertisement it may be useful; e.g., "Times at TERRY's."
The dialogue generally is easy, natural and telling.
Yours,
PRIVATE BOX.
* * * * *
FOLLOW THE BARON!
["Such characters as he should retire into fiction, they
are too exaggerated for real life."--_"Times" on Mr. R.L.
Stevenson's Sad Maron of Samou._]
Oh, most excellent true! How I thank thee, great _Times_,
For teaching that phrase! 'Tis delicious!
Fiction! The haunt of mad follies, crass crimes,
Fads futile, and tastes meretricious.
Oh, joy, to transport to that Limbo of Fools,
Upon trial and honest conviction,
The plagues of our Parties, our Churches, our Schools,
Who ought to "retire into Fiction."
When WINDYWHAME, M.P., goes spouting about,
His flatulent madness and malice;
When SLUDGE, after years of dogmatical doubt,
Finds Faith's Wonderland worthy of _Alice_;
When POPINJAY airs his effeminate Art,
And DOBBS sputters dirt in choice diction,
Ye gods, there'd be joy in Church, Forum, and Mart,
If the fools would "retire into Fiction.
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