In tranquil peace the gentle beeves
Shall chew their cud through summer eves;
No more shall that alarming warble
Affright the calm of heifer or bull,
And send them snorting round the croft
With eyes of fear and tails aloft.
Till every warble-fly be floored
Whitehall will _never_ sheathe the sword.
* * * * *
The Growth of Impropriety.
"Her hair is always exquisitely dressed, and her shoes in perfect
shape. No more in the way of dress is required of any woman."
_Daily Mirror._
* * * * *
"PROPOSED IMPROVEMENT OF A DANGEROUS CORONER."
_Headline in Provincial Paper._
The best plan, possibly, would be to get the jury to sit on him.
* * * * *
[Illustration: NEWSPAPER HEADINGS POPULARLY ILLUSTRATED.
"INFLUENZA MICROBE DISCOVERED AT A LONDON HOSPITAL."]
* * * * *
MRS. BLOGGINS'S STATEMENT.
It is not too much to say that bed-making circles in Cambridge have
been agitated to their utmost depths by the recent advent of some
hundreds of American youths who have come to pursue certain courses
of study within the University walls. Let us make one thing perfectly
clear. Bed-makers do not object to Americans as Americans, but this
avalanche of Transatlantics arrives on the very eve of the vacation,
just when the bed-makers are packing off the contingent of young Naval
officers who have been making things hum during the past term.
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