Several of the speculations were
of a questionable character. Occasionally, a member of Congress
recruited his pocket by the sale of his constituents; and I was
assured that public officers have often sold their country at very
moderate prices. Thousands sold their happiness for a whim. Gilded
chains were in great demand, and purchased with almost any
sacrifice. In truth, those who desired, according to the old adage, to
sell anything valuable for a song, might find customers all over the
Fair; and there were innumerable messes of pottage, piping hot, for
such as chose to buy them with their birthrights. A few articles,
however, could not be found genuine at Vanity Fair. If a customer
wished to renew his stock of youth, the dealers offered him a set of
false teeth and an auburn wig; if he demanded peace of mind, they
recommended opium or a brandy-bottle.
Tracts of land and golden mansions, situate in the Celestial
City, were often exchanged, at very disadvantageous rates, for a few
years' lease of small, dismal, inconvenient tenements in Vanity
Fair. Prince Beelzebub himself took great interest in this sort of
traffic, and sometimes condescended to meddle with smaller matters.
I once had the pleasure to see him bargaining with a miser for his
soul, which, after much ingenious skirmishing on both sides, his
Highness succeeded in obtaining at about the value of sixpence.
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