Almost everything about the shop had altered in
its aspect to her. The very air she breathed in it seemed
slavish. Nor was the change in her. The whole thing was growing
more and more sordid, for now--save for her part--the one spirit
ruled it entirely.
The work had therefore more or less grown a drudgery to her. The
spirit of gain was in full blast, and whoever did not trim his
sails to it was in danger of finding it rough weather. No longer
could she, without offense, and consequent disturbance of spirit,
arrange her attendance as she pleased, or have the same time for
reading as before. She could encounter black looks, but she could
not well live with them; and how was she to continue the servant
of such ends as were now exclusively acknowledged in the place?
The proposal of Mrs. Redmain stood in advantageous contrast to
this treadmill-work. In her house she would be called only to the
ministrations of love, and would have plenty of time for books
and music, with a thousand means of growth unapproachable in
Testbridge. All the slavery lay in the shop, all the freedom in
the personal service. But she strove hard to suppress anxiety,
for she saw that, of all poverty-stricken contradictions, a
Christian with little faith is the worst.
The chief attraction to her, however, was simply Hesper herself.
She had fallen in love with her--I hardly know how otherwise to
describe the current with which her being set toward her.
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