But Thornwick could never
more to Letty feel like a home! Not at peace with herself, she
could not be in rhythmic relation with her surroundings.
The next day, the old manner of life began again; but, alas! it
was only the old manner, it was not the old life; that was gone
for ever, like an old sunset, or an old song, and could not be
recalled from the dead. We may have better, but we can not have
the same. God only can have the same. God grant our new may
inwrap our old! Letty labored more than ever to lay hold of the
lessons, to his mind so genial, in hers bringing forth more labor
than fruit, which Godfrey set before her, but success seemed
further from her than ever. She was now all the time aware of a
weight, an oppression, which seemed to belong to the task, but
was in reality her self-dissatisfaction. She was like a poor
Hebrew set to make brick without straw, but the Egyptian that had
brought her into bondage was the feebleness of her own will. Now
and then would come a break--a glow of beauty, a gleam of truth;
for a moment she would forget herself; for a moment a shining
pool would flash on the clouded sea of her life; presently her
heart would send up a fresh mist, the light would fade and
vanish, and the sea lie dusky and sad. Not seldom reproaching
herself with having given Tom cause to think unjustly of her
guardians, she would try harder than ever to please her aunt; and
the small personal services she had been in the way of rendering
to Godfrey were now ministered with the care of a devotee.
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