Her death had been soft, peaceful, blissful;
but I was not feeling peaceful and blissful at all, when I was
told about it. Recriminations formed within me, but none of the
kind which are mere thoughts, like in other people who do not have
the same tendencies as I, but recriminations of a much more
essential, much more compact kind. I saw them coming up within
me, and I heard what they said, every word, yes really, every
word! This were not thoughts, but characters, genuine beings,
which did not seem to have anything in common with me, and yet
they were identical with me. What a puzzle! But what an unusual,
terribly frightening puzzle! They were like dark characters which
used to scream inside of me in the past, which I had - - - my God,
as soon as I had thought of them, they were back, just as I used
to be forced to see and hear them inside of me. I heard their
voices as clearly, as if they were standing in front of me and
were talking to me instead of my parents and sisters. And the
stayed. When I went to bed, they lay down to sleep with me.
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