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Ellis, Havelock, 1859-1939

"The Evolution of Modesty; The Phenomena of Sexual Periodicity; Auto-Erotism"

On one night, for instance, she
writes: "I seemed to feel someone's breath, and I heard a voice saying:
'The time for resistance has gone by, you must no longer rebel; by putting
off your consent to what has been proposed you will be injured; you cannot
persist in this resistance; God has subjected you to the demands of a
nature which you must satisfy on occasions so urgent.' Then I felt impure
impressions in my imagination and disordered movements in my body. I
persisted in saying at the bottom of my heart that I would do nothing. I
turned to God and asked Him for strength in this extraordinary struggle.
Then there was a loud noise in my room, and I felt as if someone had
approached me and put his hand into my bed and touched me; and having
perceived this I rose, in a state of restlessness, which lasted for a long
time afterward. Some days later, at midnight, I began to tremble all over
my body as I lay in bed, and to experience much mental anxiety without
knowing the cause. After this had lasted for some time I heard noises in
various parts of my room; the sheet was twice pulled without entirely
uncovering me; the oratory close to my bed was upset. I heard a voice on
the left side, toward which I was lying. I was asked if I had thought over
the advantageous offer that had been made to me. It was added: 'I have
come to know your reply; I will keep my promise if you will give your
consent; if, on the contrary, you refuse, you will be the most miserable
girl in the world, and all sorts of mischances will happen to you.


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