As the
mood grew in intensity, this scorn of the lower things mixed with
and gave place to a vivid insight into higher truths. The
oppression began to give place to a realization of the eternity
of the heroic things; the fatuities were seen as mere fashions;
love was seen as the true lord of life; the eternal romance was
evident in its glory; the naked strength and beauty of men were
known despite their clothes. In such mood my work was produced;
bitter protest and keen-sighted passion mingled in its building.
The arising vitality had certainly deep relation to the
periodicity of the sex-force of manhood. At the height of the
power of the art-creative mood would come those natural emissions
with which Nature calmly disposes of the unused force of the
male. Such emissions were natural and healthy, and not exhaustive
or hysterical. The process is undoubtedly sane and protective,
unless the subject be unhealthy. The period of creative art power
extended a little beyond the end of the period of natural seed
emission--the art work of this last stage being less vibrant, and
of a gentler force. Then followed a time of calm natural rest,
which gradually led up to the next sequence of melancholy and
power. The periods certainly varied in length of time, controlled
somewhat by the force of the mind and the mental will to create;
that is to say, I could somewhat delay the natural emission, by
which I gained an extension of the period of power.
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