I
was afraid--_deadly_ afraid--of the waves; I screamed as each one struck
me higher and higher, and I hid my face from the lightning. Oh, it was
awful! _awful!_
By and by I began to think; I still felt the rain and waves, and shrunk
from the lightning, but not as I had at first, for I was thinking
thoughts that had never come to me before in all my life. I could
see right before me the faces of papa, and my dear brothers and
sisters,--oh, how I loved them! and I should never be with them again!
How they would miss me! and yet how many, _many_ times had I been
disagreeable, and commanding, and unkind! I loved them, but I had
spoken sharply, and teased, and grumbled when I had had little services
to do for them; now there would be no more opportunities. I wished that
I had done differently!
Then my thoughts flew off to Mrs. Erveng,--how surly and disagreeable I
had behaved to her! Not once had I offered her the slightest attention;
instead, I had got out of her way at every chance. I had called this
being very sincere, honest, above deceit; but it did not seem like that
to me now. And there was Hilliard,--I had laughed at him, been rude to
him, despised him for being a coward, I was _so_ sure of my own courage;
and what was I _now?_ I was ashamed--_ashamed!_ Oh, how my heart ached!
Then I began saying my prayers.
Pages:
275
276
277
278
279
280
281
282
283
284
285
286
287
288
289
290
291
292
293
294
295
296
297
298
299