She says Phil is the last person in the world to fall
in with a fellow like Chad; but I'm not so sure of that, for Chad can
be entertaining enough when he chooses to be, telling of his life in
California and the wild West, and in Europe. I know he has invited Phil
to come to his rooms, and twice he has taken him off for a long walk.
Phil _loves_ to walk, with long, swinging strides, that, try to keep up
as I may, wear me out before we've gone many blocks, even with the
support of his arm. So there I can't be with him.
_She_ used to say that it was best to recognise one's limitations, and
to respect them: I recognise mine only too well,--I've _got_ to; but
instead of respecting, I abhor them, and am always striving to get
beyond them. With all the strength of soul that is in me I try to be
patient and contented--to accept myself; but now that she has gone, only
God and I know the miserable failure I make of it day after day. I want
to do so much; I want to amount to something in the world, to have
advantages for study and improvement, and to fit myself to mix with wise
men by and by,--clever men and scholars,--and to hold my own among them.
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