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Twain, Mark, 1835-1910

"The American Claimant"

"
"What do you mean by that?"
"I mean that I didn't begin to keep boarding-house yesterday. It means
that I am not the kind that can be taken in by every hack-driver's son
that comes loafing over here because he can't bum a living at home. It
means that you can't skip out on any such--"
Tracy made a step toward the old man, but Mrs. Marsh sprang between, and
said:
"Don't, Mr. Tracy, please." She turned to her husband and said, "Do
bridle your tongue. What has he done to be treated so? Can't you see he
has lost his mind, with trouble and distress? He's not responsible."
"Thank your kind heart, madam, but I've not lost my mind; and if I can
have the mere privilege of stepping to the telegraph office--"
"Well, you can't," cried Marsh.
"--or sending--"
"Sending! That beats everything. If there's anybody that's fool enough
to go on such a chuckle-headed errand--"
"Here comes Mr. Barrow--he will go for me. Barrow--"
A brisk fire of exclamations broke out--
"Say, Barrow, he's expecting a cablegram!"
"Cablegram from his father, you know!"
"Yes--cablegram from the wax-figger!"
"And say, Barrow, this fellow's an earl--take off your hat, pull down
your vest!"
"Yes, he's come off and forgot his crown, that he wears Sundays.


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