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Twain, Mark, 1835-1910

"The American Claimant"

"
"Billions in it--billions; that's what you mean. Why, look here; the
thing is so close at hand, so imminent, so absolutely immediate, that if
a man were to come to me now and say, Colonel, I am a little short, and
if you could lend me a couple of billion dollars for--come in!"
This in answer to a knock. An energetic looking man bustled in with a
big pocket-book in his hand, took a paper from it and presented it, with
the curt remark:
"Seventeenth and last call--you want to out with that three dollars and
forty cents this time without fail, Colonel Mulberry Sellers."
The Colonel began to slap this pocket and that one, and feel here and
there and everywhere, muttering:
"What have I done with that wallet?--let me see--um--not here, not there
--Oh, I must have left it in the kitchen; I'll just run and--"
"No you won't--you'll stay right where you are. And you're going to
disgorge, too--this time."
Washington innocently offered to go and look. When he was gone the
Colonel said:
"The fact is, I've got to throw myself on your indulgence just this once
more, Suggs; you see the remittances I was expecting--"
"Hang the remittances--it's too stale--it won't answer. Come!"
The Colonel glanced about him in despair.


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