Ah don't think no man's
drunk s' long 's he can navigate, Jedge. I don't--
THE JUDGE--Oh, yes, he can be! He can navigate and navigate mighty
mean!--Ten dollars.
(At this point an officer speaks in a low tone to the judge, evidently
interceding for the prisoner.)
THE JUDGE (loudly)--No. That fine's very small. If it ain't worth ten
dollars to get drunk, it ain't worth nothing at all. Next case!
(While the next prisoner is being brought up, the judge entertains his
audience with one of the humorous monologues for which he is famous, and
which, together with the summary "justice" he metes out, keeps ripples
of laughter running through the room): I'm going to get drunk myself,
some day, and see what it does to me. [Laughter.] Mebbe I'll take a
little cocaine, too.
A NEGRO VOICE (from back of room, deep bass, and very fervent)--Oh,
_no-o-o_! Don't do dat, Jedge! [More laughter.]
THE JUDGE--Where's that prisoner? If he was a Baptist, he wouldn't be so
slow.
(The prisoner, a yellow negro, is brought to the bar. His trousers are
mended with a large safety pin and his other equipment is to match.)
THE JUDGE (inspecting the prisoner sharply)--You ain't a Richmond
nigger. I can tell that to look at you.
THE PRISONER--No, suh, Jedge. That's right.
THE JUDGE--Where you from? You're from No'th Ca'lina, ain't you?
THE PRISONER--Yas, suh, Jedge.
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