I fairly shook with apprehension
lest the mate should come and look in the compass. I had been
accustomed to hard words if I did not steer within half a point
each way; but here was a "gadget" that worked me to death, the
result being a wake like a letter S. Gradually I got the hang
of the thing, becoming easier in my mind on my own account.
Even that was not an unmixed blessing, for I had now some
leisure to listen to the goings-on around the deck.
Such brutality I never witnessed before. On board of English
ships (except men-of-war) there is practically no discipline,
which is bad, but this sort of thing was maddening. I knew how
desperately ill all those poor wretches were, how helpless and
awkward they would be if quite hale and hearty; but there was
absolutely no pity for them, the officers seemed to be incapable
of any feelings of compassion whatever. My heart sank within me
as I thought of what lay before me, although I did not fear that
their treatment would also be mine, since I was at least able to
do my duty, and willing to work hard to keep out of trouble.
Then I began to wonder what sort of voyage I was in for, how
long it would last, and what my earnings were likely to be, none
of which things I had the faintest idea of.
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