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Hamsun, Knut, 1859-1952

"Pan"

Here am I, for instance, hoping all the
time that I may forget the one I did not meet on the road this
morning..."
"You talk so strangely."
"It is the third of the iron nights. I promise you, Eva, to be a
different man to-morrow. Let me be alone now. You will not know me again
to-morrow, I shall laugh and kiss you, my own sweet girl. Just
think--only this one night more, a few hours--and then I shall be a
different man. _Godnat_, Eva."
_"Godnat."_
I lie down closer to the fire, and look at the flames. A pine cone falls
from the branch; a dry twig or so falls too. The night is like a
boundless depth. I close my eyes.
After an hour, my senses begin swinging in a certain rhythm. I am
ringing in tune with the great stillness--ringing with it. I look at the
half-moon; it stands in the sky like a white scale, and I have a feeling
of love for it; I can feel myself blushing. "It is the moon!" I say
softly and passionately; "it is the moon!" and my heart strikes toward
it in a soft throbbing. So for some minutes. It is blowing a little; a
stranger wind comes to me a mysterious current of air. What is it? I
look round, but see no one. The wind calls me, and my soul bows
acknowledging the call; and I feel myself lifted into the air, pressed
to an invisible breast; my eyes are dewed, I tremble--God is standing
near, watching me.


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