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Cooke, John Esten, 1830-1886

"Or, Humors on the Border; A story of the Old Virginia Frontier"


All being seated, the young man drew from his breast-pocket a small
volume, bound in leather, and with a nod to Fanny, said:
"I have changed my mind--I can't read but two or three."
"Broken your promise, you mean."
"No, my own;--oh, no."
"Ralph, you are really too impudent!"
"How, pray?"
"And presumptuous!"
"Why?"
"Because, sir--"
"I call you 'my own' in advance? Eh?"
"Yes, sir!"
Fanny had uttered the words without reflection--intending them as a
reply to Mr. Ralph's sentence, the words "in advance," being omitted
therefrom. Everybody saw her mistake at once, and a shout of laughter
greeted the reply.
Ralph assumed a close and cautious expression, and said:
"Well--I will be more careful in future. The fact is, that people
who are _to be_ married, should be as chary of their endearments, in
public, as those who _are_ married."
General laughter and assent--except from Fanny, who was blushing.
"Nothing is more disagreeable," continued Ralph, philosophically,
"than these public evidences of affection; it is positively shocking
to see and hear two married people exchanging their 'dears' and
'dearests,' 'loves' and 'darlings'--especially to bachelors; it is
really insulting! Therefore, it is equally in bad taste with those
who _are to be_ married;--logically, consequently, and in the third
place--and lastly--it is not proper, between myself and you, my
Fanny--hum--Miss Fanny!"
This syllogistic discourse was received by Fanny with a mixture of
blushes and satirical curls of the lip.


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